Evening naptimes are rare for me now; I usually had more pointless stuff to do than that. With guests that I have to attend but with a astrong refusal, I locked myself in my room like a hermit, like my brother, and I settled in with an abrasive mix and trying to finished reading the trail of searching for a sheep with a star on it's back, I had led my eyes into total slumber. It was dark, it was 3pm, I closed my curtains so I won't have to worry about my neighbour taking a peek (doubt he/she had the nerve to). I opened the window above my head so I won't suffocate. I closed my eyes as I had doze on in the hot atmosphere. My sister is not at home anymore, and that doesn't make anything better.
I actually suffocated in my dream, or the state in which I decided not to let my mind wander off to dream land. I don't know, it was so tiring to wake myself up. The dream itself was disturbing. I remember lil particles of it, my mother was there. She told us, her children, about how there's 25 more days & it will be the end of her life because she already have the signs. I was so scared, I really feel like going out of there. No matter where there is. Because in reality, mother had been saying how she's going to die soon, and that really scares us. Suddenly I had to get off my bed and I had to make sure the bed is fully naked. There was this old man, he was telling my mother about dangerous things, I am not really sure about it. They mentioned about how something is living under my bed. & that scares me. Scene shifts into my current body folds during sleeping. My head was on my left arm, & i can see my hand. All of this is total madness, all of this needs my escape. I am not sure whether I was fully awake with only a milimeter opening of my eyelids, but I knew that's how I was, & I knew that it's reality, & I knew that I was dreaming. & I knew that it's time for me to wake up. So i tried. My mind was in control, but my head & eyes disobeyed the order. I didn't move at all. Everything was blurry. My mind tried to move my head, but it only gives bad aches all over me. It took a long time, I don't know, 15 minutes? for my head to face forward & I was relieved until I realised it won't move again. My eyes won't open wide enough, & the fan & the chair in front of me began to dissolves, but it wasn't. It wasn't dissolving at all. My eyes hurt. I forced myself again, but everything was too heavy.
My head moved to the side and my eyes are truly wide open & my fingers bookmarked the last page I read. I had a bad headache. i let the hardcore mix began all over again, with Converge as the opening, & read on the last few chapters to end it. I really love Haruki Murakami; weak plots with good thoughts are his main weakness & I like that. & I like how the main character seemed to have a dreamophonic(is there a word?) sequence as well, meeting his dead friend, The Rat, in which the sheep had used his body as well. And I like how Haruki had mentioned everything about the main character's days at the house on the mountains, waiting for the Sheep Man who tends to talk without any spacing. I really like Haruki Murakami, he's my favourite author, & there's no sarcasm here.
Remember the opened window? My cat appeared, the cat who has a crush on my brother. She hesitated on coming in, seeing how I am the sister, not the brother, but she decided after a lot of lamentation & a lot of calling from me. & so she went outside to the upper living room.
I finished A Wild Sheep Chase. I will start reading William Golding's Lord Of The Flies. I went downstairs and surprisingly, I felt really light headed. My motions come in a slow pace, I remind myself of Haruki Murakami's character. I had a nice bowl of cereals for my dinner. I didn't eat a lot today, just bread for breakfast/lunch, & the cereals for dinner. I didn't eat a lot. I'm pretty much fasting by my own rules.
This plagiarising thing is getting out of my hands eventhough it couldn't rest nicely in it. I doubt it could fit. It probably could slip out among the holes between my fingers, due to the crookedness. Azim's friend, Megat, has crooked fingers too! & yet he can play the guitar. But no, wait, now this is not in the case of straight or crooked, now it's in the case of short or long. I have short, crooked fingers that doesn't really help much when it comes to guitar & piano (but I am not interested in piano that much, so. But I regret leaving it, or not I could have moved on with the guitar. Sigh. I guess I have to sit behind and settle down with drums. If I could get my hands on one. Hmm... Ihsan teach me how to, pleaaase :D)
Tonight is Khidir's dinner gathering thing & suddenly I am so lazy to go because I don't have anything nice to wear & I don't have any transport either. I don't know what to wear. I need to buy pants ebcause I've been wearing that one pair of jeans the whoooooooooole time because that's the only jeans I have. I am so not a shopaholic it's so funny.
I WATCHED DONNIE DARKO. PLZ BE MY SUPERHERO. ok end. I think I'm going to star a new novel soon because the one for NaNoWriMo is... eh.
I have nothing interesting to update anymore, except I want to let all of you hear this: HOLY CRAP ALMOST ALL MALAYSIAN NANOWRIMOS REACHED 50,000 WORDS!
I LOVE PINBACK. Yesterday I went to OU to watch The Incredibles with Syamil & the movie is great (Hello, Pixar love!). & I bought The Libertines s/t album. I have never listened to them, I just heard about the great slashiness of Pete & the other guy's name, that's it. I haven't give it a full listen though, for some reason I can't. It's not that I hate it, no, I like it, maybe I'm just not in the mood for their music now :\ but Marisa, you will like them. I just have a feeling you will. :) & GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT THE SHOES THAT I HAVE BEEN WANTING FOR THE PINK CONVERSE SHOES WITH RED LACES RED THREADLINES & RED LINES DOWN THERE SQUEEEEEEEEE. I LOVE IT. I REALLY DO. ok.
Did you know that I have been plagiarised? Meaning, my poems & two entries & my blog info being stolen entirely without any permission or whatsoever with the theif claiming that SHE wrote it instead of giving me any credits? Yes, I was a victim of this atrocious act. It's kind of funny, really, a big thank you to the anonymous noter, I really appreciate it. :) At first, I was amused. Since she took my old yahoo & site name for her blog, which was Sleep Minutes without the s in Minute, & she even made a banner for it. Aww. But big mistake, trucker caps or caps are a big no-no (except for berets & Ihsan's cap; that's forgivable). My info was copied directly, with the playlist as well. I doubt she could handle Don Caballero's thunderous drummings & distorted guitars and actually keen enough on the local scene to listen to Free Love. Really. Except that she decided to go for a more sensible approach with the I want to be a___ part, by saying an engineer or something. Holycrap mulia gila.
That makes me wonder what I want to be when I grow up. I seriously do not know whether I have the commitment to write. Heck, I even stopped NaNo & now I'm aiming to be a writer? If I decided to take one of the more preferred jobs in the society, say, doctor, I doubt I could either since I have no interest and it's not what I planned to do for a living. Doing something that you despise, that's what everybody else hates. Probably I'm going to end up getting a job at a store for the rest of my life, which is sad. Photojournalism sounds nice.
Anyway back to the topic, she copied. Yeah. It's flattering in a way, really, for a plagiarism to happen to my writings. At first I was amused at how funny everything is when I see her stating that she wrote MY first ever poem. Anyways, this is it:
Woah I have a dark melancholy past! Teeheeheee. My first poem is so lame! Teeheeheee. This is funny. Really. So Lina & Han Mei post a comment on her tagboard & the next thing you know, her blog is gone. So now I have 2 anonymous comments on my tagboard ala Han Mei & Lina. But it's lame, cos I'm the truth. Nyahahaa. Thank goodness she didn't copy the layout as well.
the whole state of Kelantan probably has been visited by my family. Our in-laws came for a visit & we practically introduced the whole family that is scattered all around. My mother went through the trip with a bad cough & a broken heart [stolen heart, she claims]. If only she did not led her own emotions into one hardcore love movie then her emotional state would have been ok. We were tired, I arrived with one bad headache, Azim with a great loss of sleep. My brother didn't go back because he had a terrible headache (he has an injured brain, not the retard kind of way, but it's out of shaped but he is still okay despite certain numb feelings) and also he worries about the cats, while my second sis Ain didn't go back because she doesn't want to. & everything was pretty much the same. The same uncle with the same open house on the same day with the same food. Our nephew gets a lot of pinching at his cheeks, due to the fact that he weighs 10kg when he's only 5 1/2 months old. We went deep into the forests to reach the supposedly closed ones. One of my uncles has a great garden filled with probably 50+ bonsais and also a small pond which he made by himself, including the bonsai trees.
We met my father's younger brother, in which I really missed his whole children. They used to come to a different state just to have a sleepover at my house, in which we will play Playstation and watch Akazukin Chacha the whole day. But I guess now we're older so we have to be really matured, or anything, and try not to indulge with whatever we did in the past. But I didn't see any of them during the visit & that makes me really sad. Only two brothers which I didn't mix well with. Wan, Ma', Iee I miss you guys (& I have to say something. Maybe because they're mixed because their mother's mother or father is white (I don't know from which country though), but. Why must they be so attractive? and I don't know their real name, just their nick. Hardeharhar I am one good cousin).
The last day was 1992's GQ magazines, cookies and plates.
1. Heh.
2. Seven Collar T-shirt's new song is good; but Ham should really stop calling me Bambino girl.
3. & no, there's nothing between me & Pitu.
4. I've been listening to Pinback the whole day and they're really good.
5. I'm not a sweet talker.
6. Right now I'm currently re-obsessed with Kazuya Minekura's works, which is uber good.
7. and that set me off to draw manga again. & then it struck me how similar my drawing style is to hers ^^;;
8. & now I feel the need to hunt for mangas & animes & soundtracks.
9. I sense lists.
10. I'm going to collect films by Wong Kar Wai and movies with Paul Bettany starring in it.
11. Yes Jiar, AIR ASIA sucks. I thought I was gonna die. I was praying a crapload of prayers. Haha. But I was hoping that stupid idiot who turned on his phone DURING the flight would die.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
dakara make a treasure sabitsuita XD
music Seki Toshihiko aka SANZO from Saiyuki - Solitude
It's Hari Raya already !!! Squeeee. Hmm I have a few good & bad news (probably just for me, because it does not affect your daily lives) but here goes for another long ass entry! Let's do it ala George! But first, this song is funny eventhough it's not because I kept imagining Sanzo himself singing (in the black leather suit of course boahhahaha). That'll be the end of the world when Sanzo himself decided to sing. Ngee. Scary.
- I'm going back to kampung on the second day of Raya. Bah. I don't want to go back because it will be so dull and Raya is not fun anymore unless you're still a kid (physically). My mother's siblings and their children loves to be very judgementive towards my family, mainly because among all of them we are sop influenced with the modern life. I mean, hey. Azim & I baked some cookies!! Well a crapload of it. Squeee. & I will make an open house so people COME TO MY HOUSE on.... Dec 4th maybe I don't know haha.
- I stopped Nano-ing. ]: My computer is a douchebag and because I kept writing the same thing again & again now I lost the feeling of fun in it. But I do love the novel I'm working on. Probably going to continue write it, but not for Nano-ing. Sigh. & then I found out that the ending that I have planned is very Vanilla Sky-esque -_-;; And I need a break because I'm having bad headaches and all. Sigh.
- I'm listening to Gensomaden Saiyuki soundtrack nowadays. Sigh I miss that show!! Eventhough the animation was the crappiest animation ever and it still is, I miss it. Now I'm wishing that they sell any Saiyuki mangas because the artwork is absolute gorgeousnesss. KAZUYA MINEKURA IS A GODDESS. I mean, look at her DRAWING!?!?! And the manga is probably waay better than the anime (uh duh of course eventhough the anime has some funny moments (who could forget the fake Sanzo Gojyo Hakkai & Goku? AHAHAHAHHAHA)). But I really want the manga AND I want to watch SAIYUKI RELOAD & SAIYUKI RELOAD GUNLOCK because it's the continuation and it looks better ^^ Someone should get me any or ALL Kazuya Minekura's artbooks because ahrgfngfvfdsvkfnv. When I went to Japan they actually have it!!!!! AAAAH WHY DIDN'T I BUY IT & GOJYO WAS ON THE COVER!!!! >_> but we were moving really fast, so.. bleh. BUT STILL. It probably costs cheaper there than here.
But other than Saiyuki, I want to collect ALL of Minekura's work, including Stigma, Wild Adapter, and others. nyaaaaaaaah. Dammit I miss my anime side.
- I still hate Vandread though.
- Me & my sister watched two movies the past few days, first was Labyrinth, an 80's movie WHICH IS UBER GOOD. It's about this girl who has to go through a huge labyrinth in order to save her baby brother from the Goblin King. David Bowie was the king. Tight pants and all. My sister said probably he invites Robert Smith (The Cure's singer, fyi) to a tea party and RS is the Dwarf King while Thom Yorke is the butler (HAHAHA well he does have a butler-ish face <_<;;) and Bjork is the queen of Evil Faeries or something. Haha. But the movie is nice. I mean, Brian Froud is the concept designer hello!!!! Ok well yeah. Another movie was Shaun Of The Dead, which is UBER FUN. BRITISH AT IT'S BEST. But I can still eat some McD's after that, hoo. The David guy is so annoying thank goodness the zombies ate him nyayaa.
- Hey it's fun doing lists. Mmm I like this layout, but somehow I feel the need of making a Saiyuki layout.... probably will do that to my webbie :p Ok after Kelantan & collecting duit raya (wont get that much now. my aunts & uncles tend to think that I am the one who's taking architecture while Azim's the one who took PMR. AAAAPFH looking matured is not good), I'll go collecting CD RAYA! Well. not the ones with raya songs no. gonna buy HEAD AUTOMATICA SQUEEE.
- There's so much new material that right now Rickly is considering releasing two new Thursday albums: a "really traditional, scream-y, heavy album," and a keyboard-heavy "slower and epic sounding" second disc, similar to instrumental acts like Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Mogwai. But don't line up at the record store just yet. The band doesn't plan on releasing any of the material until late next year. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!1!1one!1one!!!! I LUV THURSDAYZZZOMGZZZZ <##<#<#
Man. How in this world can this Vader guy rap so fast? And it's in Japanese. Man. A few musical notes to be made: Japanese punk rock + rap >>>> American mainstream punk rock + rap. Really. Listen to me rap in Japanese: OERA EAST something WEST something something something XD
I have to tell you something, I don't feel really well and I don't think I could finish the novel in this month. One: this comp LOVES to restart all the time. Now I'm becoming so paranoid, I kept saving the document after I wrote, uhm, a sentence. Two: Microsoft Word LOVES to not open itself. Three: My ideas LOVE to dissapear when I'm infront of the comp (but this is not a major problem, though. I have a huge notebook right by my side nowadays... probably going to end up writing the whole novel in it) Four: Someone made me feel not to and it's all so stupid anyways and it was purely sarcastic but I'm stupid like that so. Probably reached 6,300++ words now. If you consider that as alot, well, somebody had reached 21,000+++ already in 5 days :P meiteoh! Stop writing! You're scaring me now.
Bro, Azim & I watched Sorority Boys today. Lex Luthor (from Smallville, that bald serious mysterious heheh guy) wearing a wig, a skirt, a bra, complaining about his big butt, getting all duuuuude, getting fucked by his fellow lil brother... is kind of disturbing. But good. In that stupid American way. But. good. But. Disturbing. And all. And. Yes. If you watch Sorority Boys without watching Smallville before it won't be this disturbing.
Today I went to Dina's shop and bought a new notebook for the novel. I miss her and it's nice to see her and her working and her getting all spiffy with the bandana thing and knowing that the whole shop knows her and stuff and I am really tired.
I heard .Hopesfall.'s new song from the new album & the new .Hopesfall. is really new suck. It really is. I mean, well maybe it's okay if you just accept .Hopesfall. as any other emo bands but the problem is they're not! Or they were not. They were what, christian hardcore or something, eventhough I don't really like the sound of that, but you get the idea. I mean, ok,
- old: They got that fat dude for guitar. Uhm ok well that doesn't really matter, really, but somehow there has got to be one fat dude in every band out there. You know, like Taking Back Sunday has one, Thursday has one, heck, even Bowling For Soup has one! Well that one is obese, to be exact. Ok don't call them fat, let's call them overweight, sounds better. Anyways, so they used to have that overweight guy who is probably the one who does all the spiffy melancholic harmonic guitar parts during their usual spiffy melancholic harmonic parts of their 6 minutes long song, or probably no, or probably responsible for giving the idea of doing that kinna thing, ya know? And the screamer (yeah, he was) was really good at screaming and he managed to scream for the whole song and it feels all violent but then comes the spiffy melancholic harmonic part of the song right after that.
- new: THE overweight GUITARIST LEFT. Meaning= no more spiffy melancholic harmonic part of the song. THE DRUMMER LEFT. Now From First To Last's drummer sounds better (but no they're still sucky, they are teh ultimest suckiest, I mean, look at the pictures in the site! Man, they should have gone for some scene clothes modelling thing than making a band! But the drummer is acceptable, of course. He's good... I guess.). And WTF?? He's gone singing! Ok well that might be good to new fans, but, woah, now he screams like Adam Lazarra of TBS! Probably Adam is better than him now! Hell, even his hair has gone emo! HOLY SHMOLY. AND THEY DONT SOUND HOPESFALL-ISH NOW. Which was the main reason I've been liking them. Now it's all up to Envy. Japanese seems to do it better everytime.
So that ends my music rant of the day. So Hopesfall, I don't know man, it's not a good one for your old fans. Probably you could gain new ones, but, man. We were not waiting for 2 years just for this. We could get this anywhere. No wonder Pojam said that The Used beats Hopesfall. I mean when I first heard that I was like, woah woah woah no that's a big lie! But after listening to the new song... Mmmmmm. You could see the video here www.trustkill.com.
I tend to sound all cheerful in my blogger, but believe me, sometimes I'm now.
Blogger's a lil bit faster now, yay! I had to wait 3847154 minutes for the create a new post page to open. >< Sigh. Blame it all on blogger if I'm updating less. So now it's already 3rd November. November's here! This means:
- End of fasting;
- Hari Raya :D
- My dad's birthday? Well it passed.
- Second last month of the year!
- & NaNoWriMo!!
Yes, I am participating Nanowrimo this year. What in the world is NaNoWriMo, you might ask? Well it's a challenge, basically. To write 50,000 words in form of a novel in 30 days! I've written 3,507 words so far, and I don't really have a proper storyline. Ack. It looks like it's going to deal with imaginary friends, though. Or so it seems. I have to use Razif & Alex in my novel, sorry dears! Don't worry you will have fun snogging each other in here still. Meh. I'm going to use Razif as the main character, but since I wrote in First POV, and that person is a girl, so... this will be hard. The scene will take place in Malaysia but it sounds American-ish now. But don't worry, local gigs with special appearances from local bands (that I do know haha) will be written down! If you want to knwo what's the plot, well, imagine The Perks. Ya it goes something like that. & guess what's the title? Easy. It doesn't have any connection, though. Haha.
i left my urge in the icebox. My name is Afi. Fifteen. 07January1990. Malaysian. Form 4. SMKDU / MRSM Jasin.
mbivert. Pessimistic. Optimistic. Often two-sided. Orphan. When I grow up, I want to join forces with my sister, the octopus, to make a cafe bookstore indiestore just for you artsy-fartsy fags & tired musicians not needing a change and normal people. Also, I tend to ramble about my obsessions.
livej, oh, Open Diary, lettres.
This layout features the 4rd December 2004 strip from A Softer World.
she found a lonely sound.
Dir En Grey songs
Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Kimi To Iu Hana
Architecture In Helsinki - In Case We Die {album}
Ahli Fiqir - Angguk Angguk Geleng Geleng
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Sleater-Kinney - Entertain
we'll all float on.
I like stars & polkadots & lazy Sunday morning & quiet nights & neatly
aligned small handwriting & to worry about you & Thursday & English with
the accent & long skirts & collared buttoned up boys shirts & neon & +
wondermilk & schoolbags & confetti confetti & slr & writing words &
japanese images & assorted colour papers & photography & vintage
clothing & deeppink & the month of january & books & film strips &
polaroids & plaid skirts & guitars & the stills & remembering everything &
telling everything & to be with you & sunrise, sunset & artsy-fartsy fag.
I hate caterpillars.
