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Sunday, June 12, 2005
The final.
music Dir En Grey ; Egnirys Cimredopyh
That's it. I decided to leave MRSM Jasin forever. I shocked my mom with tears this very morning, the morning that I was supposed to leave for the second semester, but I decided that this is it.
Yesterday night at Afnan's birthday party, as we were sitting around making jokes while waiting for the chicken and with Harith trying to flirt with Amir Bo, I said it out loud, the thought that I've been having in my mind the whole day. "I think I'm going to quit Jasin." At first I wasn't sure, I was scared to actually tell my mom. I mean, i don't want to let her down among her friends and her siblings. This is the factor that actually drives me to stay there, eventhough in truth I hate it. I actually do. It's not in the survival part. It's not in the education part [ok, well, except that I seem to have no changes to become a more intelligent person. But Malaysian education IS more to memorising, right?].
What I've been thinking and predicting is how my Fifth Form year would be. It might be monotonous. Might be disastrous. Might be the next synonym for alienation. I don't know. I still couldn't fit in to a true Malay community. That's how I see it. It's stupid, and it feels like I'm being a racist to my own race, but that's how it is. But probably you would think, "wtf? so she decided to quit the top school because of her own social skills?" but you don't know how it is, dude. You don't know how it is. And what else with the darling conflict of the Drama Team.
Aida was pleading me to stay. Afnan calmed me down, saying don't panic, and he'll pray that my mom will let me. Amir Bo... "O_______O BETUL KE???" while Harith said, "Don't... boarding school life is fuuuun!" Well, it's easy for him to say since his school has a studio music for BAND, while all we get in Jasin is nasyids being shoved up in our ears.
So, Damansara Utama Secondary School, here I come.
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